Curse of the Spring

I had hoped it wouldn’t happen this year, but it did. My mother has continued to go out drinking every night, coming home as late as 3:20, and for the past two days she didn’t come home at all. Yesterday she came into my room after 10 AM and said she’d texted Randy about going to Red Lobster. We did end up going, and it was nice to get out, but she drank before we got there, while we were there, and after we left. I heard her get here at 7:40 this morning, and then she left for work at 8:20. It must be here late day, which means she doesn’t get off until 7:15-30, and then she’ll probably go straight to the bar so who knows when she’ll get home, if she does at all. Her voice is all messed up, and while she says it’s from allergies, I knows it’s because she’s been smoking so much and sits in a smoke filled bar for up to 10 hours. She said a week or so ago she’s smoking up to a pack a day! So all that coughing must be allergies. There’s no point talking to her about it because then she’ll only say “I guess I’ll kill myself if you don’t love me then,” or get angry and slam doors like a teenager, or she’ll cry all over me and pet me for hours sobbing mostly incoherent words and getting out a “I’m so sorry” or “I’m a horrible mother” only to go out and do the same thing the next day. The only time I see her anyway is either for a few minutes in the morning (that happened twice) or when she’s falling down stupid drunk when if she gets home. I’m sick of this. I’m sick of her. I don’t want to write any more about this.

I Hate Holidays, and This is Why

Well, it’s Easter, and like every holiday I am spending it alone. My mom went over to my aunt Cyndy’s and will bring home some lamb later. I was supposed to go with her, but then Cyndy invited at least a couple more people when it was originally supposed to be just the three of us plus my grandfather. Spending an awkward dinner with family is bad enough, there was no way I was going with strangers there. My mother wasn’t happy about that, since this was her idea. She said if Cyndy would cook dinner for Easter she would clean up Cyndy’s place for it and buy the lamb. We can’t cook here because #1 we don’t have a car, and there’s no store nearby to buy anything at, and #2 and there’s no water to cook or wash dishes. For almost a year we’ve had barely any water. First less started coming out of the bathroom sink until there was nothing, then water stopped coming out of the kitchen sink too, and now there’s only a trickle coming out of the tub. All because the landlord put in a bathroom in the cellar and whoever did it didn’t know what they were doing. My mom bought a small lamb since it was just supposed to be us, and Cyndy ended up also buying ham (we hate ham). So there’s not a whole lot of the lamb, which is the only thing we’d be eating, to go around. She said that as soon as the lamb got out she’d make a plate for me before anyone else got at it. But then after 9 in the morning Cyndy called and said she’d just put the ham in, and she was going to do the lamb next. The ham was going to be done no later than 1, and I don’t know how long lamb cooks, but it can’t be too much long, especially since it was small. My mom asked if she had called anyone else, and she said no, and then my mom asked when she’d told everyone to be there and Cyndy said 4, but it didn’t matter since the ham could be eaten cold. When Cyndy cooks dinner it’s always usually late, so this was a big surprise, and also not a very smart or polite thing to do. Ham can be eaten cold, but lamb can’t. Dinner will be ready at 1 but no one will be there to 4! And even if she called and told them, it’s rude to invite someone and say one time, then call day of and say “we’re eating 4 hours earlier, so get your ass over here now!”

I’ve been online most of the day. There’s usually holiday events on adoptables sites Two I’m a part of that are doing it are Egg Cave and Dragon Cave. They’re both doing egg hunts, and Drag Cave’s continues through tomorrow. On Egg Cave you get an Easter only egg, and on Dragon Cave I’m not sure what you get, if anything. I finished the Egg Cave event with help, but I’m still doing the Dragon Cave one. There’s over 38 eggs to collect, and they only show up about ever 12 minutes. I’ve got 25 so far (5 more than when I started writing). I also managed to get a Mod Mayhem egg “This egg radiates the heat of a fell flame.” I can’t tell you how many others I missed though.

Who knows when my mom will get home tonight. There’s a good chance she’ll be drunk. Not including Monday, and today of course, my mom was out drinking every day last week. Getting home between 9 PM and 2:45 AM. I was already having trouble sleeping, but whenever she stays out late I also have to stay up to let her in if she comes home.

I also hate spring. It starts getting hot, there’s allergies, and then the bugs. Oh the bugs!!! All I’ve been doing recently is beating buggy brains out. There are some good things too. The animals and the plants (even though the latter cause me pain). There’s a beautiful pear tree in a neighbors yard a few doors down, and you can see it from our kitchen window. It’s wonderful when it blooms in spring, even though it doesn’t last long, though it’s still pretty after when it turns green. It finally bloomed a couple days ago, but it’s been so hot and windy that almost all its flowers are gone now. There’s been record high temps here the past couple days. It went from being in the 40-60’s to being in the 80’s. My poor Allie cat is in the window right now. She’s been sneezing like crazy for the past week. She either got my mom’s cold, or it’s her kitty letter. Her kitty litter is horrible. It’s one of those perfumey, dusty kinds that go everywhere and and get in everything. It coats Allie’s fur so when you pet her your hands smell like it. We can’t stand to be around it, and if it’s that hard for us to breathe it it must be 10x worse for her since she actually has to be in it. She seems a little better today, but before then she was mostly just laying around since she didn’t feel well. She came over and sat with me for a while when I was typing this, but she just left.