General on on July 14th, 2011 |
I’m typing this up offline as there is only a small window of opportunity to use the internet, before Comcast knows I’m online and starts forwarding to their activation page. I was already in a horrible mood. When I lost the internet again yesterday I had a mini-breakdown as things began to pile up on me. Today it was a like bomb. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. As soon as Cynthia woke me up today and told me there was a message on the machine that she thought was from my mom, but it wasn’t from our phone numbers, I knew it was bad. To spare anyone who reads this I’ll put the facts in convenient bullet point form…
My mom’s psycho bf “WDisney” was sent to jail for threatening to kill my mom
He’s getting out soon
My mom is staying at a friends house
My mom is being evicted
She’s talking about moving to Texas
Cynthia doesn’t seem to care about all this, she just says she knew it was going to happen. I thought it might happen too, but I had hoped it would end before it would go that far. I’m thinking about bringing the bowling pin (yes I have a bowling pin) up from the basement. It’s a good thing I’m staying up at night right now, because I’m going to have to be on the lookout for him. Unfortunately, he knows who my aunt is and where she lives. We hadn’t wanted him to, but thanks to my “you can trust WDisney” mom, she let him know. My mom said I could go get anything I wanted from the apartment in case he trashed it, but not only do we not know when he’s getting out, I don’t have a key anymore. She took mine and gave it to him. There’s a chance I might lose all my stuff, and my grandmother’s things, the only things I have left of her besides one picture, since her house burned down a few years after she died. And while I didn’t like it, and haven’t lived there in a while, I’m losing my home too. I’m never going to live there again. I may never see my mom again either, because there is no way I’m moving to Texas. Assuming he doesn’t trash anything, I’ll have to move a few of my most important things up here, and the rest will go wherever my mom goes. I’m also going to have to get my birth certificate and other stuff off her, since she’ll no longer be in charge of that. I have been staying here with my great aunt, but I don’t know how much longer that can last, and I have no where else to go. Obviously, this has shaken my already fragile state. Sometimes I curse my sanity, it would be easier to just break and go completely insane. I’m having so much taken away from me again, there’s a threat to both my things and my family, and I can’t even get on the internet to vent and waste time. I guess I’ll be reading the manga, since I won’t be able to listen to music or watch anime (which I’m running out of). And the same the next night and the next night. For who knows how long. I should stop here or I’ll ramble endlessly. I have to go get some more cleenex and something to chew on, I really need to stop biting the inside of my mouth.
Edit: And if you didn’t see my Twitter in the sidebar, I do not have internet now. Hopefully it’ll come back in a couple weeks.
Tags: depression, family, Health, life, mom, this is hell, VENTING PEOPLE