Welcome
Welcome to Lisabee.org, the personal site and blog of a 20 year-old anime and manga fan. Chronicled here are my daily life and thoughts, as well as my obsessions, like Code Geass and BL. In addition to my blog there are numerous pages in the visitor section for you to peruse, including a large anime and manga icon archive. Anime, yaoi, and Code Geass haters and other negativity are not welcome in this space. Trolls will be shown the virtual door. This site displays best in Firefox and Chrome and a resolution over 1024x768. <3
Like My Icon?
Posted by Megan on August 18th, 2010
Filed under: General

Oh, Aizen, what are you doing?

In less than 12 hours I’m going to get blood work. Not looking forward to it exactly, but I’m glad it’s finally getting done. After this I’ll have to go to the doctor and get the papers to have an MRI and CT Scan. My mom called on Sunday and asked if I wanted to go to Eat n Park on Monday using the rest of the gift card she had. I could tell she was drunk (as always), and didn’t think she’d actually end up doing it, but I agreed. Monday came and of course she called and said she couldn’t go. The landlord said he might come fix the water and she had to be there for it. Ridiculous. If she doesn’t want to follow through with something, why ask? Not only could the landlord let himself in, but that bum she’s living with doesn’t work. Let him make himself useful. There was no reason for her to stay. So Cynthia took me out today to McDonalds. I thought she would. She usually does after my mom changes her mind. I was hoping to get up to CVS and see if they had Neocash cards, but that’ll have to wait until Cynthia takes me again.

My mom said she’s been working a lot recently, and once she starts getting money I can have my disability for myself. BS! It runs out in November, and she’s only working part time! If, by some miracle, I do get it before then I’d like to get a camera. I toyed with the idea of getting one with my b-day money, but I only got $125 (counting the $25 my mom took). I looked on Ebay and found some cheap ones, but it’s too risky, and not the buying on Ebay part. I did have a really cheap digital camera before and it was crap. It barely worked and the pictures it took were horrible quality. Then earlier this year I found that the batteries had basically disintegrated inside it and I had to throw it away. So I can’t risk spending up to $125 of the only money I have only something that could turn out to be worthless. I could get a decent one for $200 though, so I’m hoping my mom will come through this once so I can get one. I’ve wanted one for years, I’m really interested in photography as a hobby.

I thought See the Monkey Dance was the best Alfred Hitchcock Hour episode I’d ever seen… then I saw An Unlocked Window. Scared the crap out of me.

I haven’t seen any anime recently. My headphones broke again, there’s only sound coming out of one ear unless you hold the cord the right way, so I can’t watch anything until I get new ones. This did give me a chance to catch up with the scanlations of Skip Beat! and I found out that two more chapters of Gunslinger Girl were scanlated. I hadn’t read anything “new” from it in about a year, since no one’s really scanlating it. Now if someone could just get out a couple chapters of Junjou Romantica… at least Okane ga Nai is pretty regular right now. Since I’m on a forced break from anime right now I’m going to take this opportunity to get through some more manga. I have a ton of BL on here, and there’s some other manga I want to get ahead in.

Since I’m animeless I’ve had to find other things to amuse myself with. One of those things is Neopets, and the other is VDex Project. I dressed up and entered two of my pets in the Style Showdown. The first one didn’t get in, like I knew it wouldn’t, and I’m sure the second one won’t either, but I love customizing on Neopets so this was a lot of fun for me. You can see my two entries after the jump. I love VDex Project. It’s the best adoptables site out there in my opinion. Here’s me and my party looking awesome.

I’ve caught 262 Pokemon, with 224 Pokedex entries. I am this close to getting the Marsh badge. VDex is so much more fun and involving than GPXPlus, which I’ve grown bored with. VDex requires a higher level of dedication and interaction, because it’s freaking hard to catch these Pokemon, and you have to actually go get them, not just sit around the lab and shelter waiting. There needs to be more adoptables sites like this one.

In the fanlistings department I have several upcoming, and two recently finished. Code Geass: Charles and Lelouch relationship fanlisting and the fl for British comedy My Family are online. A word of caution for anyone trying to view, the last one won’t display right in all resolutions, I am still working on that little bugger. On TFL I got a most awesome approval, English actress Natalie Dormer, best known for playing Anne Boleyn on Showtime’s The Tudors (which she was awesome in). The fanlisting has been designed and I just have to code it and get it online. At TAFL my upcomings are series Ghost Hound and Mitsudomoe the angela song and Seitokai Yakuindomo ED Aoi Haru (the best thing about that stupid series), and the Mitsudomoe character Marui Hitoha.
(more…)

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Good Evening
Posted by Megan on July 30th, 2010
Filed under: General

I finally made myself watch the late night block on RTV. From 12-2 they play Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Night Gallery, and Alfred Hitchcock Hour. Night Gallery isn’t as good as The Twilight Zone. As for Alfred Hitchcock, they’re usually not that great shows, though some of them are pretty decent. The blame is partially on the censors back then. They had strict rules about what could play on television. One of them being the bad guy could never get away with anything. Alfred Hitchcock saved himself from having to show this, and would just say at the end of the program that the culprit had been caught. There have been some pretty nasty criminals on there, and you really want the bad guy to get what’s coming to him, but sometimes the so-called “victim” completely deserved it. Lonely Place (3-6) is one example to this. I’ve never seen the Lamb to the Slaughter episode, based on a short story by Roald Dahl, but I know the woman in that was surely apprehended at the end of the program, when she got away with it in the original (pretty hilarious by the way, the police eat the murder weapon). But last nights episode of Hitchcock Hour was the best I’ve ever seen, maybe on of the best stories of seen of anything in a while. It was funny, clever, well written, and well acted. It was called See the Monkey Dance and it’s available online from Hulu here, with many other episodes, including some Night Gallery ones. Body in the Barn was also pretty good, as well as the end of Final Performance. Part of the reason why I watch these is for Alfred Hitchcock himself. I think he’s adorable, like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Cynthia went out with Naomi like she usually does on Fridays, and when she got back she took me down to McDonalds. We have to pass where my mom lives (and where I used to live up until a few weeks ago) and she and the white trash bastard were outside smoking. I was watching where I was walking, so I didn’t notice she was there until Cynthia said “don’t look.” My mother asked where we were going, and I looked at Cynthia because she didn’t respond or even turn her head, just kept on walking. Then my mom said in her whiny voice “You aren’t going to talk to me? Fine.” I told Cynthia she was angry because of that, and I was the one who’d get yelled at. Cynthia said she refused to talk to her while he was there, and she doesn’t owe her anything, and that my mom couldn’t be mad at me because I have no control over what Cynthia does. My mom won’t care about that. She throws tantrums like a 5 year-old, and the next time she calls I’m going to be the one who gets to listen to it. I wouldn’t be surprised if she threatened not to make my birthday cake (which she’s been saying she’s going to make since the 22nd). Cynthia says my mom is lucky I talk to her at all. And she should have known better. My mother knows I hate him, and Cynthia’s furious that my mom let him know where she lives, and now he knows what she looks like too. He keeps asking to meet her, and Cynthia says she has nothing to do with him, and he’s not getting in her house. I told her not to worry, if he tries to get in I’ll be ready to play whack-a-ass with the bowling pin. :angel: Yes, I own a real bowling pin.

My mother now owes me $40. The $20 she took in late spring (without asking), and she took the $20 Nita gave me for my birthday. She called yesterday to say Nita’s card came, and asked if she could borrow $20 from whatever she sent (it was $25), and that I could come down and witness it if I wanted. I’m not walking down the hill just to watch her open a card, then walk back up again in 90 degree weather. So I told her to just open it. She said she could have just taken the money, but thought she should ask first. It wouldn’t be the first time she took my money without asking. :yeahright: Once when I was 16 or 17 she did, and didn’t even bother to tell me. A few weeks later I found out when she said she’d pay me back. Then she had the audacity to get angry with me, for being angry with her. She couldn’t understand what was so bad about her taking the money without even bothering to pretend ask first. For some reason the concept of stealing eludes her. At least the bum finally got a job after over a month of being unemployed. It’s part time as a hostess at Pamela’s Diner. She better still look for a second job. I’ve only gotten $75 for my birthday (not including Cyndy’s money, which will probably be $40), including the $20 she took, and I’m not giving her anymore. She’s already taking my disability until November when it expires. I don’t see why I should have to pay for her cigarettes or booze, or any of the bills for a place she and her manwhore drove me out of. She doesn’t even have to pay for food, she gets almost $200 a month in food stamps, half of which is mine, and I got three TV dinners from it this month. Instead she’s using it to support the two of them, because he isn’t working either.

Choosing my icon reminded me – I finally got my Schneizel voice doll to speak! I thought it needed batteries, so I opened the bottom to see what kind (I told my mom it was the little round kind, but she still didn’t know what they were) and there were batteries in it, they just weren’t in right. I fixed them, and now every time I press the button Schneizel says “I think it’s wonderful.” I think it’s wonderful too, Schneizel! Well, another episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents starts in a few minutes. I better get downstairs.

Edit: The AHH episode was Lonely Place. It’s so disturbing.

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Flounder of Betrayal
Posted by Megan on July 26th, 2010
Filed under: General

I quite like these flounder titles. But I didn’t start a new blog just to be cute. Today, my computer Haruko decided to give me a belated birthday “present”. At around 2:30 the screen suddenly went black and wouldn’t come back on. The computer itself was still on. I could hear it running, the light on front signifying power was still on, and even the CD tray would open. But no matter how many times I pressed the power button and no matter what keys I pushed, the screen would not come on, and the power would not turn off. So I unplugged the power cord and decided to let the battery die (as that was the only way to get it to turn off) and hope that it would work again when I plugged it back in. Obviously, it did. After 5:30 I noticed the battery light blinking, and at 6 the power went off. So I plugged it back in, pressed the power button, felt my heart leap when all the lights lit up, and breathed a sigh of relief when the Windows start up came on the screen. So it’s working for now, but obviously there is some sort of problem or this wouldn’t have happened. I had forgotten until today, but between 1-3 months ago the screen did go black like today, but only for a few seconds. It concerned me then, but it came back on, and I forgot about it. Until now Haruko has given me practically no trouble. That should have tipped me off. Besides that black screen, and one error message earlier in the year, it’s been a very good (or just devious) laptop. So please continue to be good Haruko, and don’t give me any more scares. My nerves can’t take it. I was terrified that I’d lost everything (AGAIN!!!) and that I wouldn’t have a computer anymore.

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Flounder of Pain and Regret
Posted by Megan on July 25th, 2010
Filed under: General

Quite the melodramatic title, no? Today is my birthday. And it is not a happy occasion. Luckily, only one person has said “happy birthday” and that was over the phone, so I couldn’t hit them (her, it was my mom). I am officially out of my teen years. Another unhappy thing. I never thought (or wanted) I’d make it to 20. I didn’t think I’d make it to 18 (didn’t want to then either). The one good thing that was supposed to happen today turned out bad. Of course. Cynthia took me to Red Lobster like she said she would. Karen (the probably cousin) took us. I’ve been eating the same thing there since I was 11, or slightly younger. And I ate it the last time I was there, sometime in April. But when I went there today. Gone. They took my favorite dish, and the only thing I liked, off the menu. Bye bye Crab Linguini Alfredo. Hello Shrimp and Crab Linguini Alfredo with tomatoes for $4 more. So I got to eat flounder, which I don’t particularly like, I’m not a fish person, gagging on it the entire time. I almost cried when the woman said they didn’t have my dish anymore. It might sound silly to cry over spaghetti, but I only get to Red Lobster a few times a year, and I always look forward to it. I was looking forward to it this time, the only thing I had to look forward too, and it turned out horribly. I did get my Chocolate Wave cake, but I was so filled on disgusting flounder that I couldn’t eat it all. I didn’t think of it til I got home, but why couldn’t they still have given me Crab Linguini Alfredo? All they’d have to do is not put in the shrimp and tomatoes. What’s the big deal? When we got back my mom had called, so I called her and told her what happened. She’s the one who wished me the happy birthday, nothing happy about it. I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years, I don’t see what’s to celebrate in the worst day of my life. Since I was a kid I always thought it would have been better if I hadn’t been born. My mother said she still wasn’t feeling well, so she still hadn’t gone to the store, and she might tomorrow. She also said no other cards for me had come, not from Cyndy or Nita, just the one from Pap Pap.

Cyndy did call yesterday. She called my mom (or my mom called her), and while talking to her found out I was staying up here. Apparently my mom told her all about her troubles, how she was fired, and no one would hire her (it would help if she’d apply at a few places). Cyndy doesn’t like the white trash bastard either. When I talked to Cynthia after, Cyndy had told her she had met him once, and I’d already told her what an ass he was. Even Cyndy said that if I guy starts acting like that, you get rid of him in the beginning. Cyndy asked me how I was and I gave the usual “fine”. She said I could always call her if I wanted to do something. She mentioned the Aviary, which would be nice, but it sounded like she’d been drinking, so she might not remember if I said something, and the way she was talking sounded so much like my mother that it upset me.

My mom said it was good that I got out at all, but I would have rather not gone if I had known this would happen. I wasn’t in a particularly good mood this morning, but I was in a better mood when I woke up than I am now. At least the last “new” Poirot is on PBS tonight if the power doesn’t go out again and if the station is coming in right.

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Worthless People are Worthless
Posted by Megan on July 23rd, 2010
Filed under: General

My mom did call yesterday but she didn’t go to the store. She said Friday or Saturday. She definitely didn’t go today so we’ll see if she does tomorrow. My first birthday card came, from Pap Pap. Last year he didn’t send me one, and my mom said he might have remember this year since he had just been visiting Aunt Nita in Louisiana. My mom also said she’s going to apply to be a security guard at the nursing home near here. I said I thought you needed experience for something like that, and she said she’s going to ask her old boss to lie for her.

She managed to upset me even more yesterday. She mentioned the cake again, and I told her Cynthia said she doesn’t have any cake pans. She said maybe she could find someone else to borrow from. Then I said there was something else she could do for me instead, if she wanted to. The only reason I brought it up, or even thought of it, was because she suggested it a couple weeks ago. So I asked if she would ask Randy to take us to Red Lobster for my birthday. I knew she wouldn’t be happy about it, even though she’s the one that mentioned it first. She probably doesn’t even remember it because she says a lot of shit she never intends to follow through with. She said she’d think about it, and I was sure the answer would be no. Not more than an hour later she called back she said there was no way. I just said fine, and that seemed to piss her off for some reason. She said “you don’t understand, he only wants one thing, and I can’t do it” and that we’d go to Eat n Park for breakfast or lunch for my birthday (even if she does intend to follow through, there’s no way I’m going). (more…)

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Maybe it Was McGonagall
Posted by Megan on July 22nd, 2010
Filed under: General

Mmm, food. I’m still only eating once a day. I said I would and I am, even though I’m half forcing myself to do it. After I went to Cynthia’s my mood stabilized for a little bit. The last blog, Epic Troll, shows that best. Then my mom called again (she was going to the store) and just hearing from her sent me spiraling again. She called again yesterday, Cynthia said because she wanted to know how I was since I hadn’t called her. So I asked why she didn’t call, and she said it was because I didn’t call her. Then she had the audacity to call me stubborn. When someone runs you our of their home, it kind of makes it seem like you don’t want to talk to them. If she wondered how I was (which I doubt she did) her phone works. We didn’t talk much, but she wondered if Kribel’s (a bakery) took food stamps. At first I didn’t know why she was talking about getting a cake, it took me a little while to realize my birthday is now three days away. She offered to try to bake a cake, but she doesn’t have any cake pans or a spatula so I don’t know if she will. She also still does not have a job. She says no one will hire her because she’s too old, but she’s not even 50 yet. I don’t think she’s really trying. Also, our disability hasn’t gone through, so she hasn’t paid the rest of the rent. She says she’s going to drop the internet for now, and later on we’ll switch to Verizon, which I think is stupid, stupid, stupid. I don’t like Comcast, but I’m used to it and know what to expect. I have On Demand, I have the channels I want, and the caller ID comes up on the TV screen. I also saw their packages, and until Comcast Current TV, Sundance, IFC, and other channels aren’t included. I saw my mom briefly yesterday when I took Cynthia’s money down to her so she could stop at McD instead of us going. It was so hot, and when I said Cynthia and I were planning on going down later, she offered to do something nice and go get it herself. When I went down I also took the opportunity to get my cat. My mom said Allie had been very depressed and kept looking for me, and I’d been wanting to get her anyway so I did. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep her up here though. The heat isn’t bad right now, but she hasn’t drunk any water or used the litter box since she got here, and Allie is a big water drinker. She gave the water one tentative lick, and stepped into the litter for the first time an hour ago, but she immediately got out. If she doesn’t get used to it soon I’ll have to take her back. (more…)

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Epic Troll
Posted by Megan on July 14th, 2010
Filed under: General

It was a mean trick. A mean, mean trick, A-1 Pictures. Kuroshitsuji fans know what I’m talking about. A-1 did the anime Kuroshitsuji, based on the manga of the same name. They completed ruined it by going off on their own instead of following the manga, and sort of had the main character die at the end (sort of because we never saw it). So when they announced they were going to do a second series of it, fans were interested but skeptical. What could they do now, and what would the quality of the story be like after last seasons travesty? The date for the anime kept getting pushed back, and no information came out. And when it finally did, we were wishing it hadn’t. They said the anime would feature a new boy and demon butler. Art and previews came out, and at a special event they had the last butler Sebastian (Ono Daisuke) symbolically hand over his gloves to new butler whatever his name is (Sakurai Takahiro). Throughout all this some fans raged, other fans cried (seriously, girls cried at that event, and not happy tears). They were doing it again, they were ruining our Black Butler. The first episode of the new anime came out at the beginning of July. The new boy, a sadistic blond devil who gouges a maids eye out, and his boring, copycat demon annoyed the crap out of people until halfway through a familiar stranger turned up. Sebastian was there to kick ass (carrying Ciel in a suitcase, lol). We got played. We were trolled. It was all a cruel trick. Oh, has ever an anime treated its fans so horribly? Even Bleach isn’t as mean as this (I personally think Alois Trancy is a representation of A-1 and we are their servants), and they’re known to torment their fans. I don’t doubt that those two will probably be main characters, new thorns in Ciel and Seba-chans sides, but thank goodness the two real main charas are there, and will probably kick the imposters asses. Unfortunately, their joke was spoiled for me, due to Kuroshitsuji fans not being able to keep their mouths shut about it. I would have liked to have found out on my own, and been surprised, but I knew ahead of time that Sebastian was going to show up. I waited until the second episode was out to write this, so I’d know that last weeks preview with Sebastian and Ciel wasn’t another trick. Even though the original characters were there the second episode was rocky. Some parts were funny, like when Sebastian opened the trunk and a pig was in there, but overall the story as lacking. I also think they’ve altered the designs of the characters a little bit, or it was just bad animation. Still there were a few good shots of Sebastian that I’d like to make into icons, especially in the episode 3 preview (which looks like Grell will be returning in, if the preview can be trusted). (more…)

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Every Year Worse Than Before
Posted by Megan on July 9th, 2010
Filed under: General

I had to push myself to write this because I really don’t want to. Living it and thinking about it is enough, I don’t want to write about it as well. But I have to. All this began quite a few weeks ago. It was when we were out of food stamps and money, so I wasn’t eating. Then my mother got fired from her job. I’ve said before that she’s been having continuous constipation. My mom said that one day while at work at Rite Aid she was with a coworker and took out a sepository (not looking that spelling up) told the woman she was doing it, and left a note on the package for the manager saying she would pay for it on payday, and let the woman know what she was doing. After my mom was gone the woman (her name is Anna, I think, not sure of the spelling) called the companies 800 number and reported my mom for stealing. She was suspended for 3 days and then fired. My mom said her boss and other coworkers were very upset, because they all think Anna is a backstabbing bitch (which she is). My mom’s boss liked her too, but there was nothing he could do with the companies decision.

My mom started looking for a couple new jobs, and still is, I don’t think she’s been trying very hard. This was a huge, horrible blow. Even at Rite Aid we were living paycheck to paycheck and never had any money. She’ll be taking a big pay cut when she finally does find work. But that’s not the half of it. Instead of seriously looking for a new job (which I don’t think she has) she came up with a new plan, get rid of me and get a roommate. (more…)

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still around
Posted by Megan on July 4th, 2010
Filed under: General

Just posting to say I’m still here, though I don’t know if I will be at any point in the near future. I don’t feel like writing about what has happened, living it is enough. I did buy a Code Geass Clovis can badge of someone on LJ, despite what way this goes. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity, because even if I die I’d rather die owning the Clovis pin than not. I may ask Cynthia if I can stay with her until this blows over, and if she says no then end it, and if she says yes take my most important things, like my cat, laptop, my Code Geass doujinshi, Schneizel voice doll, Junjou Romantica tin, etc, to be on the safe side. I don’t want that psycho creep going through my things. It still would be better to do it now no matter what. The przc is already 3 months expired. If it gets any weaker it might not do the job. But we’ll see. Either way I need a miracle… I just realized that I haven’t watched any new (to me) anime or read any manga in three weeks… That shows how bad things are.

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I Despise My Life
Posted by Megan on June 21st, 2010
Filed under: General

And living in general. And my mother. No icon this time I just don’t feel like it. Like most days now I went up to Cynthia’s to eat. My mother was here yesterday, don’t know why she came over and stayed the night, but she did, though she barely spoke to me or even saw me. Most of the time she was on the couch watching TV. This morning she made garlic bread and left the pan on the stove. When I got home from Cynthia’s at around 8 I saw it there and decided to move it because I don’t like things on the stove, particularly heavy things. It’s a messed up old stove. Like if you pull down the oven door too quickly or forcefully the whole thing tips forward, and the top part with the oven dials is separating from the bottom part where the burns are, which is why I don’t like things on it to make it any worse. So I moved it and set it down with some other kitchen stuff, near the crock pot. I didn’t see the crock pots heavy glass lid there, and when I put the pan down the lid fell on to the top of my foot. That’s what started all this. I have accidents all the time, every day actually. This isn’t the first time I’ve smashed a body part. I’ve been lucky so far, at least in the past few years and had no serious injuries, but I always worry, especially when I hurt myself. I’m always alone, and even though I do have free health care provided by the state, if something bad happened I probably wouldn’t get any help. The lids edge landed right where the foot ends and the big toe starts. It hurt like hell (still hurts of course) and I was afraid I might have fractured it. When I’m worried there’s really nothing to do but tell someone just to talk, to get reassurance, and to let them know what happened, just so they know. I didn’t call my mom at first, I called Cynthia. (more…)

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