I found this quiz through the Duggar/Quiverfull/fundie snarking forum Free Jinger. It’s Beliefnet’s Belief-O-Matic. You answer a series of 20 questions and it tells you what religion your beliefs are most similar too. I didn’t understand all the questions, some were a little too… theological for me, but I did end up scoring in my own religion first, 100%. I’m a Presbyterian, so a liberal Protestant. I scored Seventh Day Adventist last at 24%, whatever that is, but my $cientology score wasn’t low enough for my taste, at 22 with 38%. So, what religion are you, or supposed to be?
1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (98%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (95%)
4. Secular Humanism (79%)
5. Neo-Pagan (77%)
6. Reform Judaism (75%)
7. Baha’i Faith (73%)
8. New Age (73%)
9. Mahayana Buddhism (64%)
10. Theravada Buddhism (63%)
11. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (58%)
12. Orthodox Quaker (55%)
13. Taoism (53%)
14. New Thought (52%)
15. Sikhism (51%)
16. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (51%)
17. Nontheist (50%)
18. Jehovah’s Witness (48%)
19. Jainism (47%)
20. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (42%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (42%)
22. Scientology (38%)
23. Islam (35%)
24. Hinduism (31%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (24%)
26. Roman Catholic (24%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (24%)
I better do this before I forget again. Today is this site’s 4 year anniversary. It’s been online since September 6, 2006. At least I think that’s 4 years, I did fail math every year since the 7th grade… I’ll post something again soon, I just haven’t felt like it recently. But I can tell you the next post will involve my mother, my aunt, Kuroshitsuji II, Mitsudomoe, and Shiki. So, the usual. Since I’m trying to catch up with the Bleach manga right now, I’m using a Bleach icon.
No icon of my own this time since I come bearing many gifts in the form of 100×100 anime (+ Amy Lee) avatars. They are Bleach (Byakuya, Ukitake, Neliel/Nel Tu, Yoruichi), Code Geass (Schneizel, Kanon, Cecile, Tianzi, Anya, Jeremiah, Lelouch, Kaguya, Darlton), Junjou Romantica (Usami Akihiko aka Usagi), 238 in total. More will be added soon including Bleach, Code Geass, Junjou, Okane ga Nai, Durarara, Kuroshitsuji, and other things on my anime list. Here is a preview, the rest are in the visitors section under Avatars/LJ Icons, in their respective categories and listed newest to oldest.
It’s the Altador Cup at Neopets right now. I’ve paticipated at least three times before, and this is my second year with Shenkuu. I think I was originally with Darigan, though it could have been Faerieland, when I joined and it started it was 04-06 so I don’t really remember. When I saw Shenkuu last year I knew it was the team for me. I love all things Shenkuu, it’s my favorite place (there needs to be more Neovia stuff too). I’m doing my best to seriously participate this time. If Shenkuu loses I don’t want it to be because of me. Other team supporters on The Daily Neopets have some pretty strict goals, but I’m trying to keep up with them. My goals are 5 for Slushie Slinger, 10 for Make Some Noise, and 600 for Shootout Showdown. I don’t have any for Yooyuball. I despise Yooyuball. In the past I’ve never been able to score any goals. Now I can usually get at least one and keep the ball away from the other team long enough to win. The most goals I ever got was 6, I don’t expect that to happen again. I’ve been pretty good with my goals, although it’s only my third day playing so it doesn’t mean anything. I did 670 the first day for SOSD and 923 the second. I’m now up to Level 4. I’ve never gotten past beginner before, so I’m really excited, though it’s going to be very difficult from here on out. I don’t think I’ll make it to All-Star (I personally don’t believe it’s humanly possible, so if you did it you’re probably a secret government experiment) but I’ll do my best and get as far as I can.
Dragon Cave released three new dragons. I never completed the last set, or the one before that and now I’ve got this to contend with. I’ve got two out of three from the latest group (missing Terrae), and 2 from the last one (missing Nebula), and only one legendary so no summoning for me. I did get a Cheese dragon though, I was surprised when I caught it.
I haven’t watched a lot of anime recently, new episodes at least. I rewatched both seasons of JunJou Romantica, and the Okane ga Nai OVAs again. Well, not all the Junjou Romantica ones, I hate Egoist and Terrorist so I skipped those. I’d forgotten how much I love the second season, it’s so romantic, and Usagi is so hot. Okane ga Nai was better than I remember it too. Fukuyama Jun’s voice can be a little annoying though during certain scenes. Speaking of OKG, DP Scanlations released volume 8 chapter, and it seems that this volume heavily features Kuba! I’ve always liked him, and apparently I’m not the only one since Kousaka Tohru makes a mention of all his supporters. The first volume of the Code Geass doujinshi Knights Anthology is supposed to be released in English in June and I’m really very tempted to get it. No, I definitely will, no matter how much I try to resist. I have a little bit of money left in my PayPal account that I’ve been saving for it. I own it in Japanese, but I’d still like to know what it says, even though it’s just short comics, and not very hard to follow. What I gathered from the pictures I liked. My favorite one has Lelouch going to the Black Knights headquarters to find he’s been replaced by another Zero, Schneizel in a Zero mask, and everyone likes him better. I’d really, really like the second volume, which features Schneizel and Lelouch, but that doesn’t come out for a good few months.
My mom is broke again. We were broke, then briefly had some money and I got to eat two cheeseburgers and McDonalds, and now I’m back on TV dinners for the next two weeks. This is very sad for me. Food is the only thing I usually have to look forward to in my day, so it’s even more depressing when it sucks. Like I said I had McDonalds one day, for the first time in ages, since they tore it down March 1. It was horrible having the construction going on, practically in the backyard since it’s directly behind us. Sometimes the whole place would vibrate and the windows would shake. It made me so dizzy and sick feeling when I was trying to sleep. The day McD opened my mom tried to go there after work and the place was packed, and I mean packed. The parking lot was completely filled, the two drive-thrus had huge lines, and inside was what my mom described as a mob. There was even people parking on our street and going there. All the damn busybody car owners all had to come see the new McD. They could go to any McDonalds they want, but they just had to invade ours just to see what it looked like. We’re the ones who have to live here with nothing around and no stores. My mom left and went back the next day. She finally made it to a store yesterday and they had my Hungry Man Classic Fried Chicken TV dinners I like so much (they’re absolutely horrible for you, but they taste so good), but she only got two. She rarely ever makes it to the store, so she should have gotten more than two (assuming they had more, which is pretty probable) or some garlic bread or something.
My mom needed to get her cellphone charger from Matt-freak because he didn’t give it back with the rest of his stuff, so she called his sister and asked her to tell him to mail it to her. I didn’t come for a while, and when it finally did it was in a dirty envelope, which my mom said looked like it had been dragged through dog crap. And it had an Arizona address on it. So besides making it as disgusting as possible, he sent the charger to Arizona and then had his sister send it from there. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there’s something seriously wrong with that guy. He has such a paranoid, persecution complex, they’re all out to get me syndrome.
I finally installed a Firefox persona.
Feb 13: My mom called yesterday after work and said she missed two buses trying to get a Subway sandwich so she was in a bad mood. She said she was going to the bar before coming home and would be home with dinner in about an hour. Fast forward to past 2 in the morning and I’m trying to sleep when I hear someone screaming. Naturally I think it is the ignorant neighbors upstairs who never stop yelling/stomping around and being the noisy people they are. But no, I realize it’s not when one thing yelled is “Megan”. OMG that damn bitch has done it again. I remember last year she came home so drunk she couldn’t get her key in the door and I had to get up again to let her in, and pick up everything she had dumped outside. This time I found her outside on the floor of the porch herself. All she was doing was yelling and saying the same thing over again “I can’t get up.” Now I thought it could be something serious, like she slipped and fell. But no, it’s only that she couldn’t feel her feet (according to her). Oh gee, I wonder what that could be like, not being able to feel parts of your body… Mom, do you know why you can’t feel your feet? IT’S COLD OUT! Just get inside, problem solved. It’s probably well below 30 out, and she just walked up from the bar, and is drunk no less, that’s why she can’t feel her fucking feet! So I get to go outside in my pajamas and struggle with helping a drunk stand up (not an easy task) and eventually get her in the door. All the bitch keeps saying is “I can’t feel my feet” and yelling. Drunks usually come with a few pre-programmed phrases, they’re like those dolls you pull the string and they repeat the same thing over and over again. Then she tripped over her (mostly) alchie bottles on the way to the couch and and was last seen laying there propped up against the couch still saying she couldn’t feel her feet. It would help if she’d taking her effing shoes off and get her feet out of the damp socks. It would certainly help more than just sitting their and whining about it. But no. And I’m certainly not going to make the attempt. Let this be a lesson to her about the evils of drinking (though if she hasn’t learned it by now she never well). I wont be held responsible either if her toes fall off. And if she ever does this again I’m leaving her outside. But for today I get to deal with this, at… 3 in the morning now. And I’ve had to lock that cat in the room with me so drunky Godzilla doesn’t crush her.
Well, I did end up having to help her after she woke up and started screaming again. This time it was about her back and knee. Well after falling down and then laying on the floor between the coffee table and couch, of course it would be hurting. So I had to get her shoes and socks off and try to help her up, but she didn’t want to help herself. She just kept yelling about it hurting (stupid shit like “owie,” “my backy,” and “meowie”) and that she could do it. If she had put as much effort into getting up as she did complaining about it she would have gotten up a lot sooner. It took forever to get her up, then she hobbled to the bathroom which took forever, then took forever getting undressed, then finally went back to the couch and started crying. So I had to put up with that crap, and finally with her slobbering all over me. I hate drunk people! And I hate it when they cling to me and pet me, and then cry on me. Bleh. I can’t stand to be touched but I had to put up with her crushing me for a while (my ribs hurt and I had trouble breathing because of it, then when I finally got away there were indents from my pajamas all over my arms and sides) before I eventually got her to go to sleep. I think that was around 5 AM, and then I got to go to bed again after 6:30. Now her knees are bruised and swollen because of that, and she’s talking about calling off tomorrow.
This morning I heard my cat getting into stuff and when I finally got up to see what the idiot was doing I found her digging under some stuff. It crossed my mind that it could be a mouse, but I thought it was probably a centipede so I dragged her away and started lifting some of it up to see what was underneath. That’s when a little grey mouse went zooming out from under it and around the corner towards the stove. Yes I screamed, several times too. I like mice, mice are cute, but only when they’re in cages, not when they’re running around your home. After I got it together I had to go after that cat who was in pursuit of her new toy. I didn’t know mice could climb, but he scaled the blanket hanging over the door in the kitchen, then dropped back down and finally went back behind the stove again. It looked like he had something either in his mouth or stuck to him. Allie’s been hunting that mouse for almost two years, and this is the first time I’ve seen him come out. He had gone all over the place in here too. I hope he stays behind the stove now.
I’m sick of Valentines day. Egg Cave is has a Valentine egg, which took me 20 (then 100 more when I had to restart Firefox) tries to find, but there’s a 10 egg viewing limit so I have to wait until tomorrow and hopefully it’ll still be there. Then Dragon Cave has two Valentines eggs, which are impossible to get. Half the time the site doesn’t even load, then by the time it does all the eggs are gone. I’ve never been able to get any egg when they were released so I don’t think I’ll be able to get either of these. There should be a one egg limit for both instead of two, so the greedy people can’t stock up on them while the rest of us don’t get anything. I don’t see why some many idiots on that site think this is fun. How is it fun to sit at a computer for hours at a time, all day long trying to get a couple virtual eggs? It’s not fun, it’s frustrating and painful, and very bad for you. Fighting over 1000 people for 3 eggs? What BS. Edit: After almost 400 eggs, I just found out I got two of this years Val eggs when I checked my scroll. Still no ’09s.
It’s going to be so noisy here soon. Like it’s not enough already. But they’re tearing down the McDonalds and Jiffy Lube in the back and building a bigger McD. The McDonalds execs are idiots. The McDonalds there gets busy, but there’s no way we need a new or bigger one. Not only are we losing our McDonalds for 6+ months, we get to listen to construction starting at the end of this month. It is literally right behind us. Then the street the runs along side us, the one McDonalds is on, it’s going to be getting teared up. I don’t know what’s with all the stupid fucks making these decisions, but they’re going to be doing work on it for miles back. So we also get to hear that, and my mom will be having trouble getting to work since it’s a bus line. It’s a very busy street, I don’t know what people are going to do. It’s the main road to downtown. I hope McD doesn’t close down for a few weeks more. They’ve got Penguins of Madagascar toys. I love that show so I’m going to try to get my mom to get herself a Happy Meal so I can get some.
I haven’t updated this with a real blog entry in a while. Just haven’t felt like it. Mostly I’ve been watching anime and online at either Global PokédeX Plus or Dragon Cave. I finally got a Ditto on GPX (still looking for Lugia,
Winter Vulpix, Mew, and Shaymin) and a vampire dragon on Dragon Cave. Now I’m trying to hatch a sunrise dragon. Edit 1/26: Finally got a Winter Vulpix on my fifth try. Edit 1/27: Mwahaha! Shaymin you are mine!
With anime I’ve mainly been sticking to a few specific ones, but that changed with the new season of anime. Those are Bleach, Prince of Tennis, Wallflower (aka Perfect Girl Evolution, aka Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge), Ouran, Nodame Cantabile, and Itazura na Kiss. Awesome, awesome, awesome, good, okay, …okay. I finally got caught up with Bleach probably about a month ago, and now I just love love love it. I really want to give it an 8 just for how likable and how much fun it is. But everytime I get the urge I have to remind myself of all the times it made me want bash my head against the wall. It’s a 7 anime. Prince of Tennis is still really good, but I’ve been on a break from it because they’re at a tournament and Ryoma’s up and it’s making me nervous. I loved Perfect Girl Evolution (which is known by three names, my preference being The Wallflower because it’s short and easy to remember), and it went on to become my fastest anime, I finished at three days. I was surprised at how quickly I connected with it, and how quickly it went. Ouran was good, and it’s in second place at 7 days, although I technically saw the first episode (several times) almost a year ago. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that again, I just can’t watch that many episodes at once, especially of the same anime (except near the end for Bleach, I was at about 20 a day). Nodame is okay, and it doesn’t grate on me as much as Itazura does. I was hoping to get caught up on all the Nodame Cantabile series before the last one came out, but that was an unrealistic dream.
For the winter season I added Durarara!!, Ookamikakushi, and Dance in the Vampire Bund. I may start watching Hanamaru Youchien, but I’m not sure yet. I was so disappointed Kuroshitsuji 2 wasn’t going to start airing this month like some idiot on MAL said it would, but hopefully it’ll start in the spring. I like Durarara, enough for me to give it an 8 on the second ep, which is something I never do. I liked it so much it gave me a renewed interest in Baccano, which I am also finding myself liking. Ookamikakushi… well, it’s my own fault because I could tell what it was going to be like, so now I’m just hoping it’ll get better. The characters are so friggin annoying. Vampire Bund had one of the most original first eps I’ve ever seen, but the second wasn’t as good. I also knew what I was getting myself into there, but I’m weak and stupid. I’ve been downloading a ton of anime, so I’m going to be taking a break from the internet for a few days again so I watch it.
After several months I finally got out again, and to The Cheesecake Factory no less. Unfortunately it was Martin Luther King Jr Day, which is an official holiday here, so a ton of people and brats had off. We got there less than a half an hour after they opened and it was already packed. We were seated next to these “rich” women and one of them had thrown her big coat over the divider between the booths, so it was practically in my seat. I wanted to throw mine over so it would hit them on the head. People are so rude and obnoxious, they really have no concern for others. It wasn’t that great there either, and I was the one paying for it, so that’s minus $40. We should have gone to Red Lobster. After we went to the Jo Beth bookstore. Even though I hate them, I hadn’t read anything in a while except The Lovely Bones (which is an awful book, don’t believe the hype). They didn’t have The Shining or any interesting bios, so I got Ender’s Game, which I’ve been meaning to read for a while.
I’ve got two new fl layouts up now, my Maria Sharapova, and Amber’s K-ON one. I love the coding on the second one, it looks really good further down on the page. A preview of what will be the layout of my new anime fl collective domain Zangetsuki.org is here. I prefer my current layout, but I decided to move that one to Among the Stars since its layout only looks good in 1024×764. That’s if I don’t try to fix it with div id’s, but it’s so much hassle since I’m not used to that yet. I’ve been downloading a ton of textures for layouts and icons, so expect to see more, esp of the icons, I still have a lot to upload, and a lot more I want to make. I’ve already made over 100 Schneizel and Clovis bases, and I want to make more for other fandoms. Since he hasn’t been here in a while, and he’s really missed sharing his hotness in my posts, Schneizel once again gets to be my icon.
Well I’m back, and much sooner than expected. I was without a computer for about 6 days, counting the half of Thanksgiving and the half of Tuesday. I got my new computer yesterday. We were supposed to go on Monday when my mom had off, but she called late in the afternoon to say she wasn’t feeling well. Then I got a surprise call early Tuesday afternoon with her telling me to get ready to go out to Best Buy since she had called off. Her and Matt had a fight and she didn’t get a lot of sleep, had been crying, etc, so she called off. She says they’ve broken up, then says she hasn’t decided yet, but they’ve been breaking up since I was 5. At the most if they break up it’ll be a couple years, at the least a few months.
Anyway I got ready and then after I was done (an hour later, it takes so much effort now) she said she didn’t know if she wanted to go all the way out to Best Buy after all, and maybe we could go to a restaurant in Dormont instead? I said that I didn’t go through all the trouble of getting ready just to go up the street. So she managed to drag herself out and we took the street car to South Hills Village. Even though they’re overpriced, Best Buy is basically the only tech place we can get to around here, besides the Mac store in the mall near there, but that’s way out of our price range. We can only stare longingly through the windows until the sales people chase us away. It’s good we went out then because at that time she had caught me in one of my mellow moods where I can go either way, and getting out and going to the store put me into a good mood, so I was very receptive and willing to look around. I guess it was a good time, because I haven’t been in an okay mood in a while. The first one we saw was not going to happen, a 160 GB hard drive. I would only accept that if I couldn’t get anything else. She showed me a computer she had seen online, an Asus with a 320 hard drive, 4 GB memory, 64 bit, 16″ widescreen, with a webcam and facial recognition, for $480. I’d never heard of Asus, and preferred a well-known, big name computer like HP or Dell. It was also pretty ugly, so we continued to look around. Then I saw a Toshiba for $430. It had a less features, and was a little smaller, but it was much cuter and cheaper since I also needed to get anti-virus and was hoping to get a wireless router. We couldn’t afford the anti-virus that day (right now I’m using a trial of Norton, I’ll be getting Kaspersky) and decided to hold off on the router and get them at the same time. So here is the laptop I got:
Toshiba – Satellite Laptop with AMD Athlon™ II Dual-Core Processor – Graphite Gray
Windows 7 Home Premium 32-bit (don’t listen to them, Win 7 sucks)
320GB Hard drive (actually 288/270)
15.6″ HD Widescreen
2 hrs battery
I’m so shallow. The pictures on the site do not do it justice. If I had a digital camera (like this crappy but cutie that caught my eye) I would post pictures of it. I also saw these three amazing wireless mouses 1 2 3, that are so expensive but absolutely gorgeous. I love them all, especially #s 2 and 3, but I think the third one would go best with my laptop. After choosing the laptop we had a slight ordeal trying to purchase it. The guy who was checking us out (and who had been giving us advice) was kind of a jerk, and then he couldn’t accept cash and had to send us to someone else. It was then while waiting we decided to hold off on the router. While there we also looked at the cameras, netbooks since my mom wants one, and the computer games since I haven’t had any in years. I think I own two: Sim City 3000 and the first Harry Potter game. I don’t know if any new ones I’d like to buy would play on this laptop, I don’t know what the compatability is for them. So far all the previous software I had Filezilla, VLC, KMP, even Paint Shop Pro installed and appear to work without a problem.
When we were leaving I told my mom I would have to think up a new name for the computer. I had previously decided on Poj, standing for piece of junk, but since I got a “nice” one I couldn’t name it that. Since it’s a Japanese computer I thought it should have a Japanese name, but then there’s the problem of whether a computer is a boy or a girl. I started thinking through names beforehand, mostly from different anime. Haruhiko was one of them, and keeping with the H’s I really love the name Haruka. All of my computers have been boys (except maybe one) and felt that this one was too, so Haruka wasn’t an option. So I changed the ka to ko since it sounds like it could go either way. My new laptops name is Haruko. I don’t know if I’ll be able to name my network, I know on some you can, and I’d like an anime name for that as well. After sifting through some Code Geass ones, I thought it should be tech related, and what anime is more computer and internet related than Serial Experiments Lain? So if I can it’ll probably be Cyberia, the name of the club there, unless I find a different one from it. The only issues I have with the laptop so far is stupid Windows 7, which may be better than Vista, but not XP, the touchpad/mouse, the internet cord not staying in, and that I’m forced to use a screen resolution of 1366 x 768 instead of my preferred 1024×768. Everything looks so much better in 1024×768.
When we got home we stopped at McDonalds and I got an Angus Third Pounder since I haven’t had one in a while because of my throat, and was bad and had 1 1/2 pops to get the burger and fries down, since its so hard to eat with water. I’d want to try their hot chocolate too, even though I’ve never liked hot chocolate when I’ve had it. Too watery. Hopefully theirs would be different.
So this is supposed to be my last day online. Really this time. My mom finally got the flash drives on Thursday and got them to me on Friday. 50 some dollars for two 8 GB at Best Buy. They’re half that online. So since I had got everything I needed backed up down from 25 to 20 to 19 and then only had 16 GB I had to get zipping and uploading again. So some of my stuff might not be there when I get a computer because it didn’t zip right, or didn’t upload right, or MU decided to delete it. I knew they wouldn’t actually fit 8 GB each, but I still thought it would be enough after I got them both under 8 GB. Nope. The first one fit 7.80 GB and the second on 7.30. So I had to delete some of my precious Code Geass episodes, and over 630 MB of music. While trying to upload everything I kept getting “undefined” and “The file you are trying to access is temporarily unavailable” errors. This is driving me crazy. You can’t upload the same file twice, and it knows even if you rename it because it’s still the same size, so I can’t even upload them again. So I had to keep changing the files so they would have different sizes when I needed to reupload them, but I don’t know what I’m going to do about my music, since they still keep saying “The file you are trying to access is temporarily unavailable,” some on and off, and some have been like that since I uploaded them. Right now two of my Code Geass soundtracks are saying it, and God knows how many other files are saying it as well, since there are so many I can’t check them all, it would take too long to upload them all again, and they’ve probably already been deleted from the computer anyway.
I still have to delete my music and a couple various files, uninstall my last programs (BitTorrent, Filezilla, VLC Media Player, KMPlayer, Firefox). I’m waiting a little while longer to do that since then I won’t be able to listen to music or watch anything for a while. Right now I’m downloading the latest Kobato. episode so I’ll get to watch that before everything has to go. I’d like to get in some Kuroshitsuji chapters too. I was happy to find out that the second anime is actually supposed to start in January, and not spring like I had originally thought, so not much longer to wait. Since I now love adoptables sites I joined Squiby (Valenth too when I get back), originally because I’m getting sick of all the sucky art changes at the Pokemon adoptable site Virtuadopts. That artist and the sites admin both are idiots, and I hate them. But I ended up getting tons of other things too. A few Bleach, a Naruto one, a Lelouch, two Alucards, two L’s, Ayanami, Kero-chan, Sadako from Ringu (who’s already peeking out of her well), other Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Grell from Kuroshitsuji. I wish someone would make a Sebastian one too, and lot’s of other anime and manga ones.
My mom was once again supposed to call the doctor yesterday but didn’t. I finally broke down and told her to get chocolate since it’s been 3 weeks since I had any (and two weeks since my old blood test results were supposed to get there) and I’m still way over the daily sugar limit. But since it’s cold I’ve been wearing socks most of the time and haven’t seen my feet, and when I’ve had them off I’ve mostly just glanced at them because I don’t want to know. But I did see them yesterday after I talked to my mom and then I regretted telling her to get chocolate since they don’t look good. The red and purple is getting darker and spreading, and the spot on one toe that was really itchy (my toes/feet are always itchy) looked horrible. I almost called my mom back it looked so bad. It has various shades of dark purple spots mixed in dark purple coloring. If she comes today like she’s supposed to I’m going to make her take a look at them since she’s never seen it.
Okay, so this is it for a while. I’ll be back 2-3 weeks. Unless I die or kill myself before then.