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Welcome to Lisabee.org, the personal site and blog of a 20 year-old anime and manga fan. Chronicled here are my daily life and thoughts, as well as my obsessions, like Code Geass and BL. In addition to my blog there are numerous pages in the visitor section for you to peruse, including a large anime and manga icon archive. Anime, yaoi, and Code Geass haters and other negativity are not welcome in this space. Trolls will be shown the virtual door. This site displays best in Firefox and Chrome and a resolution over 1024x768. <3
The Pain Has Finally Subsided
Posted by Megan on August 19th, 2010
Filed under: Health

I went to hospital and had blood taken yesterday. I was pretty nervous beforehand, and I didn’t get much sleep. I have trouble sleeping when I know I have to get up early in the morning, and I had several bad dreams due to my nerves. My aunt Cyndy was supposed to pick Cynthia and me up at 11 AM, but after Cynthia called her at 11:15 we found out Cyndy hadn’t gotten up yet. Cynthia wasn’t happy because she was worried the place would be crowded, since more people go during lunch and there’s only one woman on duty at that time. I didn’t start getting really anxious until we got to the hospital. Like most people I am terrified of them. Adding to the problem, it was also the hospital Nanny, my grandmother, was in before she was transferred to a nursing home where she died. Walking in the front door didn’t exactly bring back fond memories of the place. Passing all the no entry/doctors only doors (“is someone getting cut up behind there?”) and radiation warning signs didn’t help either. My heart was pounding by the time we got the waiting area. There were 7 other people besides the three of us. The first group went in almost right after we got there, the second woman thought she was in the wrong place and left (heard her talking on her cell phone) and the two women we came in with were behind me on the list.

Since the other woman left I was next, and we weren’t waiting 15 minutes before I was called. The lady was really nice and for the first minute or so just got all the e-paper work done. Then she asked me if I had an arm preference, there was a quick pinch, and it was all done in about 30 seconds. Then we left and Cyndy dropped Cynthia and I off at Eat n Park since I had been fasting for the last 13 hours. I was surprised at how easy getting the blood drawn itself was. I was not prepared for the pain that came after. This was the second time I had blood taken. The first time was at a clinic, and it took the woman a long time poking around my arm before she finally used something called a butterfly needle since she couldn’t find my vein. It hurt a lot more then, it was a disturbing feeling because I could feel the needle inside my arm, and it took a lot longer. But it didn’t hurt afterward. This time it barely hurt while doing it, and it was very quick, but after the pain steadily got worse until my whole arm down to my hand and to the back of my shoulder was aching. After about 24 hours the majority of the pain has finally stopped, except for a bit in the crease of the inside of my elbow where it’s all bruised.

Cynthia called my doctor today to see if my blood test result had come. They had and he had already looked them over. I do not have diabetes, the nurse said my sugar level was good, and my cholesterol is low. With the way I eat I wonder how can this be? I guess my body has evolved over the level of you petty humans and has adapted to handle high levels of chocolate and grease! :devil: However, there was one problem the doctor did see. My thyroid result was low, and he might want to put me on medication for it. I don’t know much about the thyroid (what it is, where it is, or what it does) but Cynthia said it can make you really tired if it’s low, and make you gain weight. I am dead tired all the time and the simplest tasks exhaust me, so that would make sense. I’m a plump girl, but in no way of the term am I fat (it all goes to my ass and my thighs, if it went up top this wouldn’t be a problem :tears:), but even though I generally don’t eat more than once a day or ever consume more than 1500 calories in a day, my activity level is pretty low, and when I do eat it’s usually nothing good. Even the slightest physical activity knocks me out and gives me a splitting headache, and the exercises that I did do ruined my knees. So I basically gave up on that. I’m going to the doctor on Monday to see what he wants to do, and I’m going to try to get the prescriptions for my MRI and CT Scan then. Though if I had this much trouble going to the hospital just to get some blood taken, I don’t know how I’m going to go through getting putting in the radiation space pod for an hour. Just hit me over the head until I’m knocked out. I’m getting it done to have my brain examined anyway.

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Like My Icon?
Posted by Megan on August 18th, 2010
Filed under: General

Oh, Aizen, what are you doing?

In less than 12 hours I’m going to get blood work. Not looking forward to it exactly, but I’m glad it’s finally getting done. After this I’ll have to go to the doctor and get the papers to have an MRI and CT Scan. My mom called on Sunday and asked if I wanted to go to Eat n Park on Monday using the rest of the gift card she had. I could tell she was drunk (as always), and didn’t think she’d actually end up doing it, but I agreed. Monday came and of course she called and said she couldn’t go. The landlord said he might come fix the water and she had to be there for it. Ridiculous. If she doesn’t want to follow through with something, why ask? Not only could the landlord let himself in, but that bum she’s living with doesn’t work. Let him make himself useful. There was no reason for her to stay. So Cynthia took me out today to McDonalds. I thought she would. She usually does after my mom changes her mind. I was hoping to get up to CVS and see if they had Neocash cards, but that’ll have to wait until Cynthia takes me again.

My mom said she’s been working a lot recently, and once she starts getting money I can have my disability for myself. BS! It runs out in November, and she’s only working part time! If, by some miracle, I do get it before then I’d like to get a camera. I toyed with the idea of getting one with my b-day money, but I only got $125 (counting the $25 my mom took). I looked on Ebay and found some cheap ones, but it’s too risky, and not the buying on Ebay part. I did have a really cheap digital camera before and it was crap. It barely worked and the pictures it took were horrible quality. Then earlier this year I found that the batteries had basically disintegrated inside it and I had to throw it away. So I can’t risk spending up to $125 of the only money I have only something that could turn out to be worthless. I could get a decent one for $200 though, so I’m hoping my mom will come through this once so I can get one. I’ve wanted one for years, I’m really interested in photography as a hobby.

I thought See the Monkey Dance was the best Alfred Hitchcock Hour episode I’d ever seen… then I saw An Unlocked Window. Scared the crap out of me.

I haven’t seen any anime recently. My headphones broke again, there’s only sound coming out of one ear unless you hold the cord the right way, so I can’t watch anything until I get new ones. This did give me a chance to catch up with the scanlations of Skip Beat! and I found out that two more chapters of Gunslinger Girl were scanlated. I hadn’t read anything “new” from it in about a year, since no one’s really scanlating it. Now if someone could just get out a couple chapters of Junjou Romantica… at least Okane ga Nai is pretty regular right now. Since I’m on a forced break from anime right now I’m going to take this opportunity to get through some more manga. I have a ton of BL on here, and there’s some other manga I want to get ahead in.

Since I’m animeless I’ve had to find other things to amuse myself with. One of those things is Neopets, and the other is VDex Project. I dressed up and entered two of my pets in the Style Showdown. The first one didn’t get in, like I knew it wouldn’t, and I’m sure the second one won’t either, but I love customizing on Neopets so this was a lot of fun for me. You can see my two entries after the jump. I love VDex Project. It’s the best adoptables site out there in my opinion. Here’s me and my party looking awesome.

I’ve caught 262 Pokemon, with 224 Pokedex entries. I am this close to getting the Marsh badge. VDex is so much more fun and involving than GPXPlus, which I’ve grown bored with. VDex requires a higher level of dedication and interaction, because it’s freaking hard to catch these Pokemon, and you have to actually go get them, not just sit around the lab and shelter waiting. There needs to be more adoptables sites like this one.

In the fanlistings department I have several upcoming, and two recently finished. Code Geass: Charles and Lelouch relationship fanlisting and the fl for British comedy My Family are online. A word of caution for anyone trying to view, the last one won’t display right in all resolutions, I am still working on that little bugger. On TFL I got a most awesome approval, English actress Natalie Dormer, best known for playing Anne Boleyn on Showtime’s The Tudors (which she was awesome in). The fanlisting has been designed and I just have to code it and get it online. At TAFL my upcomings are series Ghost Hound and Mitsudomoe the angela song and Seitokai Yakuindomo ED Aoi Haru (the best thing about that stupid series), and the Mitsudomoe character Marui Hitoha.
(more…)

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Flounder of Pain and Regret
Posted by Megan on July 25th, 2010
Filed under: General

Quite the melodramatic title, no? Today is my birthday. And it is not a happy occasion. Luckily, only one person has said “happy birthday” and that was over the phone, so I couldn’t hit them (her, it was my mom). I am officially out of my teen years. Another unhappy thing. I never thought (or wanted) I’d make it to 20. I didn’t think I’d make it to 18 (didn’t want to then either). The one good thing that was supposed to happen today turned out bad. Of course. Cynthia took me to Red Lobster like she said she would. Karen (the probably cousin) took us. I’ve been eating the same thing there since I was 11, or slightly younger. And I ate it the last time I was there, sometime in April. But when I went there today. Gone. They took my favorite dish, and the only thing I liked, off the menu. Bye bye Crab Linguini Alfredo. Hello Shrimp and Crab Linguini Alfredo with tomatoes for $4 more. So I got to eat flounder, which I don’t particularly like, I’m not a fish person, gagging on it the entire time. I almost cried when the woman said they didn’t have my dish anymore. It might sound silly to cry over spaghetti, but I only get to Red Lobster a few times a year, and I always look forward to it. I was looking forward to it this time, the only thing I had to look forward too, and it turned out horribly. I did get my Chocolate Wave cake, but I was so filled on disgusting flounder that I couldn’t eat it all. I didn’t think of it til I got home, but why couldn’t they still have given me Crab Linguini Alfredo? All they’d have to do is not put in the shrimp and tomatoes. What’s the big deal? When we got back my mom had called, so I called her and told her what happened. She’s the one who wished me the happy birthday, nothing happy about it. I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years, I don’t see what’s to celebrate in the worst day of my life. Since I was a kid I always thought it would have been better if I hadn’t been born. My mother said she still wasn’t feeling well, so she still hadn’t gone to the store, and she might tomorrow. She also said no other cards for me had come, not from Cyndy or Nita, just the one from Pap Pap.

Cyndy did call yesterday. She called my mom (or my mom called her), and while talking to her found out I was staying up here. Apparently my mom told her all about her troubles, how she was fired, and no one would hire her (it would help if she’d apply at a few places). Cyndy doesn’t like the white trash bastard either. When I talked to Cynthia after, Cyndy had told her she had met him once, and I’d already told her what an ass he was. Even Cyndy said that if I guy starts acting like that, you get rid of him in the beginning. Cyndy asked me how I was and I gave the usual “fine”. She said I could always call her if I wanted to do something. She mentioned the Aviary, which would be nice, but it sounded like she’d been drinking, so she might not remember if I said something, and the way she was talking sounded so much like my mother that it upset me.

My mom said it was good that I got out at all, but I would have rather not gone if I had known this would happen. I wasn’t in a particularly good mood this morning, but I was in a better mood when I woke up than I am now. At least the last “new” Poirot is on PBS tonight if the power doesn’t go out again and if the station is coming in right.

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Worthless People are Worthless
Posted by Megan on July 23rd, 2010
Filed under: General

My mom did call yesterday but she didn’t go to the store. She said Friday or Saturday. She definitely didn’t go today so we’ll see if she does tomorrow. My first birthday card came, from Pap Pap. Last year he didn’t send me one, and my mom said he might have remember this year since he had just been visiting Aunt Nita in Louisiana. My mom also said she’s going to apply to be a security guard at the nursing home near here. I said I thought you needed experience for something like that, and she said she’s going to ask her old boss to lie for her.

She managed to upset me even more yesterday. She mentioned the cake again, and I told her Cynthia said she doesn’t have any cake pans. She said maybe she could find someone else to borrow from. Then I said there was something else she could do for me instead, if she wanted to. The only reason I brought it up, or even thought of it, was because she suggested it a couple weeks ago. So I asked if she would ask Randy to take us to Red Lobster for my birthday. I knew she wouldn’t be happy about it, even though she’s the one that mentioned it first. She probably doesn’t even remember it because she says a lot of shit she never intends to follow through with. She said she’d think about it, and I was sure the answer would be no. Not more than an hour later she called back she said there was no way. I just said fine, and that seemed to piss her off for some reason. She said “you don’t understand, he only wants one thing, and I can’t do it” and that we’d go to Eat n Park for breakfast or lunch for my birthday (even if she does intend to follow through, there’s no way I’m going). (more…)

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Maybe it Was McGonagall
Posted by Megan on July 22nd, 2010
Filed under: General

Mmm, food. I’m still only eating once a day. I said I would and I am, even though I’m half forcing myself to do it. After I went to Cynthia’s my mood stabilized for a little bit. The last blog, Epic Troll, shows that best. Then my mom called again (she was going to the store) and just hearing from her sent me spiraling again. She called again yesterday, Cynthia said because she wanted to know how I was since I hadn’t called her. So I asked why she didn’t call, and she said it was because I didn’t call her. Then she had the audacity to call me stubborn. When someone runs you our of their home, it kind of makes it seem like you don’t want to talk to them. If she wondered how I was (which I doubt she did) her phone works. We didn’t talk much, but she wondered if Kribel’s (a bakery) took food stamps. At first I didn’t know why she was talking about getting a cake, it took me a little while to realize my birthday is now three days away. She offered to try to bake a cake, but she doesn’t have any cake pans or a spatula so I don’t know if she will. She also still does not have a job. She says no one will hire her because she’s too old, but she’s not even 50 yet. I don’t think she’s really trying. Also, our disability hasn’t gone through, so she hasn’t paid the rest of the rent. She says she’s going to drop the internet for now, and later on we’ll switch to Verizon, which I think is stupid, stupid, stupid. I don’t like Comcast, but I’m used to it and know what to expect. I have On Demand, I have the channels I want, and the caller ID comes up on the TV screen. I also saw their packages, and until Comcast Current TV, Sundance, IFC, and other channels aren’t included. I saw my mom briefly yesterday when I took Cynthia’s money down to her so she could stop at McD instead of us going. It was so hot, and when I said Cynthia and I were planning on going down later, she offered to do something nice and go get it herself. When I went down I also took the opportunity to get my cat. My mom said Allie had been very depressed and kept looking for me, and I’d been wanting to get her anyway so I did. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep her up here though. The heat isn’t bad right now, but she hasn’t drunk any water or used the litter box since she got here, and Allie is a big water drinker. She gave the water one tentative lick, and stepped into the litter for the first time an hour ago, but she immediately got out. If she doesn’t get used to it soon I’ll have to take her back. (more…)

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Epic Troll
Posted by Megan on July 14th, 2010
Filed under: General

It was a mean trick. A mean, mean trick, A-1 Pictures. Kuroshitsuji fans know what I’m talking about. A-1 did the anime Kuroshitsuji, based on the manga of the same name. They completed ruined it by going off on their own instead of following the manga, and sort of had the main character die at the end (sort of because we never saw it). So when they announced they were going to do a second series of it, fans were interested but skeptical. What could they do now, and what would the quality of the story be like after last seasons travesty? The date for the anime kept getting pushed back, and no information came out. And when it finally did, we were wishing it hadn’t. They said the anime would feature a new boy and demon butler. Art and previews came out, and at a special event they had the last butler Sebastian (Ono Daisuke) symbolically hand over his gloves to new butler whatever his name is (Sakurai Takahiro). Throughout all this some fans raged, other fans cried (seriously, girls cried at that event, and not happy tears). They were doing it again, they were ruining our Black Butler. The first episode of the new anime came out at the beginning of July. The new boy, a sadistic blond devil who gouges a maids eye out, and his boring, copycat demon annoyed the crap out of people until halfway through a familiar stranger turned up. Sebastian was there to kick ass (carrying Ciel in a suitcase, lol). We got played. We were trolled. It was all a cruel trick. Oh, has ever an anime treated its fans so horribly? Even Bleach isn’t as mean as this (I personally think Alois Trancy is a representation of A-1 and we are their servants), and they’re known to torment their fans. I don’t doubt that those two will probably be main characters, new thorns in Ciel and Seba-chans sides, but thank goodness the two real main charas are there, and will probably kick the imposters asses. Unfortunately, their joke was spoiled for me, due to Kuroshitsuji fans not being able to keep their mouths shut about it. I would have liked to have found out on my own, and been surprised, but I knew ahead of time that Sebastian was going to show up. I waited until the second episode was out to write this, so I’d know that last weeks preview with Sebastian and Ciel wasn’t another trick. Even though the original characters were there the second episode was rocky. Some parts were funny, like when Sebastian opened the trunk and a pig was in there, but overall the story as lacking. I also think they’ve altered the designs of the characters a little bit, or it was just bad animation. Still there were a few good shots of Sebastian that I’d like to make into icons, especially in the episode 3 preview (which looks like Grell will be returning in, if the preview can be trusted). (more…)

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Every Year Worse Than Before
Posted by Megan on July 9th, 2010
Filed under: General

I had to push myself to write this because I really don’t want to. Living it and thinking about it is enough, I don’t want to write about it as well. But I have to. All this began quite a few weeks ago. It was when we were out of food stamps and money, so I wasn’t eating. Then my mother got fired from her job. I’ve said before that she’s been having continuous constipation. My mom said that one day while at work at Rite Aid she was with a coworker and took out a sepository (not looking that spelling up) told the woman she was doing it, and left a note on the package for the manager saying she would pay for it on payday, and let the woman know what she was doing. After my mom was gone the woman (her name is Anna, I think, not sure of the spelling) called the companies 800 number and reported my mom for stealing. She was suspended for 3 days and then fired. My mom said her boss and other coworkers were very upset, because they all think Anna is a backstabbing bitch (which she is). My mom’s boss liked her too, but there was nothing he could do with the companies decision.

My mom started looking for a couple new jobs, and still is, I don’t think she’s been trying very hard. This was a huge, horrible blow. Even at Rite Aid we were living paycheck to paycheck and never had any money. She’ll be taking a big pay cut when she finally does find work. But that’s not the half of it. Instead of seriously looking for a new job (which I don’t think she has) she came up with a new plan, get rid of me and get a roommate. (more…)

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still around
Posted by Megan on July 4th, 2010
Filed under: General

Just posting to say I’m still here, though I don’t know if I will be at any point in the near future. I don’t feel like writing about what has happened, living it is enough. I did buy a Code Geass Clovis can badge of someone on LJ, despite what way this goes. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity, because even if I die I’d rather die owning the Clovis pin than not. I may ask Cynthia if I can stay with her until this blows over, and if she says no then end it, and if she says yes take my most important things, like my cat, laptop, my Code Geass doujinshi, Schneizel voice doll, Junjou Romantica tin, etc, to be on the safe side. I don’t want that psycho creep going through my things. It still would be better to do it now no matter what. The przc is already 3 months expired. If it gets any weaker it might not do the job. But we’ll see. Either way I need a miracle… I just realized that I haven’t watched any new (to me) anime or read any manga in three weeks… That shows how bad things are.

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I Despise My Life
Posted by Megan on June 21st, 2010
Filed under: General

And living in general. And my mother. No icon this time I just don’t feel like it. Like most days now I went up to Cynthia’s to eat. My mother was here yesterday, don’t know why she came over and stayed the night, but she did, though she barely spoke to me or even saw me. Most of the time she was on the couch watching TV. This morning she made garlic bread and left the pan on the stove. When I got home from Cynthia’s at around 8 I saw it there and decided to move it because I don’t like things on the stove, particularly heavy things. It’s a messed up old stove. Like if you pull down the oven door too quickly or forcefully the whole thing tips forward, and the top part with the oven dials is separating from the bottom part where the burns are, which is why I don’t like things on it to make it any worse. So I moved it and set it down with some other kitchen stuff, near the crock pot. I didn’t see the crock pots heavy glass lid there, and when I put the pan down the lid fell on to the top of my foot. That’s what started all this. I have accidents all the time, every day actually. This isn’t the first time I’ve smashed a body part. I’ve been lucky so far, at least in the past few years and had no serious injuries, but I always worry, especially when I hurt myself. I’m always alone, and even though I do have free health care provided by the state, if something bad happened I probably wouldn’t get any help. The lids edge landed right where the foot ends and the big toe starts. It hurt like hell (still hurts of course) and I was afraid I might have fractured it. When I’m worried there’s really nothing to do but tell someone just to talk, to get reassurance, and to let them know what happened, just so they know. I didn’t call my mom at first, I called Cynthia. (more…)

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Don’t Ask Me
Posted by Megan on June 18th, 2010
Filed under: General

Schneizel isn’t too happy either. I don’t know what’s going on. My mom called yesterday, about a half an hour after I went out with Cynthia. I called when I got back and she said she’d see me tomorrow (now today) since she gets paid. So did she get fired from her job? Well, she called at 3:03, so if she was in Dormont she wasn’t at work then. And she gets paid on Thursdays. Not to mention the fact that she wasn’t at work for at least half the last week, and she never stopped buy or called, so she didn’t bring any milk or food from there (when she has food stamps) and didn’t call. So I still believe she isn’t working. We’ll see if she calls or comes by today like she said she would, it’s going on 4:30 right now. She also didn’t mention the thing she mentioned before, which I’m still not going to talk about. Right now I’m in wait and see mode, but regardless of what does and does not happen I think the best option is to do it now before the medication affect is anymore diluted. I moved the icons that were in the last post to this one. So they’re after the preview and the jump. (more…)

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