Anxiety Strikes Back

For the last couple of days, I have felt some anxiety. There are a lot of new things going on in my life. But I think the most responsible for this matter is the way I now look things. I am not looking at the mirrors, but rather go out and search all possible alternatives.

I become realistic, somewhat nihilist and absurdist…I can’t decide which one I’m in. Religion also takes part in this, as nowadays it is heavily influenced by capitalism. I felt that it’s not just a way of life, but also a way to get richer and stronger in life. The main function is not just to be able to communicate with God and with human through society, but also act as a means to get materialistic things. This is sad how religion evolves to fit to human needs.

I’ve spent some quite bucks for new site and several hosting, it might also contribute to my anxiety because I’ve never spent so much money on hosting and domains before. I can’t imagine next year when the billing invoices comes.

According to RescueTime, an app that tracks my daily activities on computers. I’ve spent the most time looking at Facebook. I know, it’s nothing but I like hanging out with my friends. At least on internet I can look at how my friends success, how they react to my status, or how I can learn from other things that can contribute to my success. Well, most of the time it just contains garbage. Mark, why did you create such evil things to make our lives miserable just to look at others success and not your own?

Second most distracting things is in Business category. So that’s relieving. I just thought I didn’t get enough time for doing anything else besides marketing and facebook. I think I just have to cut time for facebook for a little while. Gradually before I close up my account. I said that last year, and it’s still there lol.

Third most distracting activities are uncategories. Just browsing bunch of youtube channels and blogs to see what’s going on to the digital world.

It is said that the first medicine to anxiety is to admit that you have an anxiety. So there you go. I hope I get well soon.